“Parry. BE A LADY.”
This is what my mom will likely say to me once she finds this blog (HI MOM!).
BUT I CAN’T HELP IT! Not being a lady is like, way more fun. My mom will also likely give me a lot of shit for my botched grammar and overuse of the word “like.” It’s rampant, I know. As far as the obscenities go … Mom, remember the last time we talked and you were all like, “Quit bein’ such a little bitch. And what the HAE-EL (Southern for “hell”) is wrong with your brother? He has lost his FUCKIN’ mind.” K well that’s where all this comes from. LOVE YOU!
Friends, family, former/current/future employers, former teachers, current teachers that are still my mom’s friends, Dad’s friends who are visiting my site so that he’ll shut up about how wonderful I am, and other vague acquaintances:
Sorry I’m not sorry. Just kidding! But seriously. This is all in good fun! I like to write, and until I write a New York Times Best-Selling book that you have to respect because The New York Times said so, I hope you will find my brash honesty relatable. If not, this is probably not a site for you to Bookmark.
My interpretations of all people, places and things mentioned on this site are just that – my interpretations. Expect some exaggerations and know that my Judge Judy moments are not meant to offend, only to entertain. If you become so offended that taking it out on somebody else doesn’t do the trick, do what I do when the MTA decides to fuck my day up with their ridiculous “construction” schedules — Nothing. Or write a letter. Much like the MTA, it may take me anywhere from 8 weeks to never to respond, but please be patient, and if you see something, say something.