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Posts Tagged ‘The Bachelorette’

  1. Global Turbulence

    August 9, 2011 by parry

    So. Shit is kinda hitting the fan, huh? As always, I continue to arrive fashionably late to big events — world news included, apparently. And, last night, as I wrote this soliloquy on my flight back from NC (wherein I essentially fell off the face of the earth for 10 days and missed 2 consecutive episodes of True Blood) I felt the urge to voice my concern on two particular points surrounding the Norway shootings, the recently reduced US credit rating and unruly riots in London:

    1. Why the FUCK don’t in-flight beverages come with lids?!????? ESPECIALLY when the captain has left on the Fasten Seat Belt Sign, which means that shit is PROBABLY going to get a little bumpy. Because I mean, I made point of doing all my fucking laundry at my grandparents’ house before I left, in order to avoid spending $20 at the wash-and-fold upon my return, and now there are shitty fucking coffee stains on my formerly Bounty-fresh hoody. Thanks for nothing, Delta.

    2. Even though I appreciate the real-time news flow that social media provides, I am kind of fed-the-fuck-up with everyone and their mother giving their uneducated, unopinionated opinions. ESPECIALLY when they include the use of emoticons.

    “Jane Thisismymarriednamewhichmakesmecool says:                                                                     Riots in London! Sounds so scary!!! ): ): ): ”

    Congratulations, Jane. It seems as if you’ve been reading your Facebook and/or Twitter feed recently and want everyone to know that you are like, totally tuned into the news and that you are like, totally bummed about something other than The Bachelorette’s latest elimination.

    But did your status update give any insight into said news? Are you helping spread the word about an important issue surfaced by this event? Are you linking people to a page where they can donate to a relief fund? Are you at LEAST making a poorly timed joke about this shit that I can laugh about at my desk and then repeat to someone else in a week when it’s no longer “too soon?!?”

    No. All you’re doing is grinding my gears and reminding me how Sarah Palin was able to come dangerously close to becoming the Vice President of the United States — because you and people like you can’t seem to think for themselves and never bother to form a truly educated opinion on anything important. Not that free speech isn’t equally important, but I guess my stance on that in this particular instance is Shut the Fuck Up.

    Now then. I’d like another one of those lidless coffees, please.

     

     

     

     

     

    xoxo

    parrypants