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Posts Tagged ‘slip n’ slide’

  1. Mattress for Snuggling

    August 12, 2011 by parry

    Ohmygod I LOVE TO SNUGGLE. And if you don’t …

    1. Somewhere a puppy just died and 2. I don’t want to know you anymore.

    Because if you can’t snuggle with your friends, then THEY AREN’T REALLY YOUR FRIENDS.  I mean, no one snuggles with strangers unless like, you’re either someone who counts flashmobs as a hobby, or, you may have a drinking problem. So I guess what I’m really saying is that if you like to snuggle then we can probably be friends and one day we can probably snuggle so therefore everyone that wants to continue knowing me should invest in a MATTRESS FOR SNUGGLING!

    Boyfriend and I are like, way big on snuggling for the first 15 minutes we get in bed. Like, anaconda-style snuggling.  But then one of us starts drooling, sweating or developing a dead arm, and we’re like “Okay you are great and special and I love you but I think I need to stretch out.”

    So imagine my delight when he sprinkled my InBox with this little nugget. Those people look SO SNUG.  Dead arm be gone! I mean, the chance of sweating may increase when you have a body part shoved in those gaping holes (that’s what she said?!), but let’s be honest: Dead arm is the real problem here. Oscillating fans fix sweating (usually) and if you drool, so what? It brings you closer. On the real though, my main problem is the apparent inability to apply sheets.  Because like, sweat + drool on whatever that surface is = slip n’ slide. Which is not at all what I want during summer in New York. Winter? Maybe.