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Posts Tagged ‘Diet Dr. Pepper’

  1. Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

    June 29, 2011 by parry

    This is seriously like, the worst thing that has happened to me since I found out Daniel Vosovic from Project Runway (Season 2), was gay. I had a MONSTER crush on him. BTW – Daniel, if you need a “fiercely real” model for your next collection, holler atcha girl. I’ve got tits and ass out the … ass (?) and what I lack in height, I make up for by smize-ing. ARG. FUCK YOU TYRA BANKS FOR ENGRAINING THESE RIDICULOUS MADE-UP WORDS INTO MY MIND! But not really because I LIVE for ANTM marathons, and I kind of think Tyra is like a schtizo Oprah. Please don’t hurt me!

    So yeah. I hope you guys are sitting down for this one. Because apparently, “SCIENCE” claims that my beloved Diet Coke MAKES YOU FAT. I know, I know. Why couldn’t it have been Diet Pepsi? Or Coke Zero? Okay actually it’s like, all things Diet Sugar Water. Which puts me in a really tough sitch: I mean, I NEED Diet Coke/Diet Dr. Pepper in my life. I really do. It must be coursing through my veins at this point, because I was pretty much raised on that shit (THANKS FOR MAKING ME AN ADDICT, MOM).

    But also: I FER SURE do not want to be fat. Not that I have a problem with fat people or anything, but I really can’t afford to size up my wardrobe right now.






  2. Oh hot damn, this is my jam(m).

    June 30, 2010 by parry

    Tonight, after 2 beers and a mediocre (at best) plate of nachos at B.B. King’s, I found my way home from the bright lights of Times Square and stumbled into an East Village bodega for a(nother) refreshing beverage. It’s been over 90 degrees for the past week. I crave beverages of ALL kinds, ALL the fucking time. But rarely to actually hydrate. Perpetual cotton-mouth is REAL, people, and sugar is the solution!   That being said, I had decided upon a soda when my eyes met THIS:

    The lovechild of Kool-Aid Man and Capri Sun. In 5, delicious artificial flavors. OH YEAH! Allegedly, Kool-Aid joined the “portable drink revolution” back in ’07, but I am going to start repping this shit like it’s 1999. Hello, it has 100% of the Vitamin C needed for a child AND 25 grams of sugar, which totally surpasses adult requirements. And at $.75 per pouch? Diet Dr. Pepper, you’ve been replaced.