August 28, 2011 by parry
Not that I give a shit about Maroon 5 anymore, but I applaud Adam Levine’s recent tweet in regards to The VMAs.
adamlevine: the VMA’s. one day a year when MTV pretends to still care about music. I’m drawing a line in the sand. fuck you VMA’s.
The man is right. I can’t remember the last time I turned on MTV and saw more than 15 seconds of a music video, and even then, it’s been sliced to 50% of the screen, sharing equal billing with the rolling credits from 16 and Pregnant. Which is some bullshit. I may not remember “Video Killed the Radio Star,” but I DEFINITELY remember watching several videos that were major forces in causing my hormones to surface, ie: LL Cool J’s ”Doin’ It Well,” The Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979,” and Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby.” Don’t hate on Mariah. She’s on fi-yah. Okay so maybe not since she married Nick Cannon (SERIOUSLY. WTF?), but youknowwhatimsayin.
And I was a total fiend for Making The Video. I basically fainted when Melissa Joan Hart got to pal around with Britney for “Crazy.” I would even go so far as to keep a blank VHS tape in the TV at all times, JUST in case a cool video (or 7) came on that I wanted to fawn over, ad-nasuem. At one point in my life, said videotapings were solely reserved for Britney and *NSYNC choreography instructionals, but my obsession with them went FAR beyond that … And it’s not something I’m ready to come clean about just yet. These things take time.
Anyways, here’s some of my favorite snarky tweets* (thus far) in regards to the farce that is the VMAs (p.s. Check your local listings for FUSE, because they are the real deal when it comes to marathon music video sessions. I got nuthin’ but love for ya, Fuse. Nothin’ but love) :
*Please note I will take Curb Your Enthusiasm and/or Netflix reruns of Arrested Development over this nonsense ANY day, thus the selected tweets (from the brave, relevant, paid souls watching) have been chosen, not for context, but for pure, general hilarity. And yes, making that a point IS necessary. Jerks. Consider this an early #followfriday, of sorts.
: Wasn’t there a Greek myth about a woman who could sing to the widest possible audience, but only behind Taco Bell promos? #jessiej #VMAs
: ”Never lose faith in rock n roll”, camera pan to LMFAO
: I really hope Kreayshawn wins Best New Artist. Tomorrow’s mortification today!
: We wouldn’t hook up with “Joe Calderone”
: MTV thinks Foster the People are ‘carrying the flag for rock.’ I say the rock flag flies at half mast on this night every year.
: At vmas, bieber tells selena ‘my snake’s name is johnson.’ Oh my.
: my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson m
: Not that i’m anti-autotune, i’m just anti-boring
: Mars doing Winehouse is like watching water trying to be butter.
Category Deep Thoughts | Tags: 16 and Pregnant,1979,Adam Levine,Always Be My Baby,Arrested Development,Britney Spears,Curb Your Enthusiasm,Doin' It Well,Fuse,LL Cool J,Making the Video,Mariah Carey,Maroon 5,Melissa Joan Hart,MTV,MTV Video Music Awards,N*SYNC,Netflix,Nick Cannon,Snooki,The Smashing Pumpkins,Video Killed the Radio Star,Video Music Awards,VMAs | No Comments
July 28, 2011 by parry
Oops! I did it again.
I played with your heart. Got lost in the game. Oo baby, baby! I’ve been a bad, bad girl. I’ve been careless with a delicate man. And apparently my body has been inhabited by a throwback teenager. It’s all because Teen Nick is re-airing every single 90′s sitcom that defined my childhood. This just set me back like, 10 years. But you know what? I’m fine with that. I’m comfortable with my level of maturity, as displayed by A Painted Shel. Which I have again neglected, despite Erin always being on time. I’m not always there when you call, but I’m always on time, and I gave you my all, now baby be mine. ACK.
So anyways, I asked Erin to choose this week’s selection and I wanted it to mean something to her. Something really special, you know? Below please find the actual text of the email that accompanied her illustration:
Since you suggested I choose a poem that has meaning to me and since A Painted Shel is a throwback to childhood, i OBVIOUSLY chose the one about picking your nose. This adorable habit has been a life-long passion of mine, as I was an avid public picker until the age of 7….okay 12. Unfortunately, history has started repeating itself and I’m a public picker again. You’re welcome New York. (Side bar: I tried to find one that also incorporated peeing the bed because I know that was your “thing” as a youth, but alas, no luck.)
Did anyone else just get chills?
Thanks for sharing your special hobby, Erin! More on my “thing” another day. Today is Erin’s day! Please enjoy “Warning:”
“Warning” from Where the Sidewalk Ends
Inside everybody’s nose
There lives a sharp-toothed snail.
So if you stick your finger in,
He may bite off your nail.
Stick it farther up inside,
And he may bite your ring off.
Stick it all the way, and he
May bite the whole darn thing off.
- Shel Silverstein
parrypants (& erinelizabeth.paxson)
Category A Painted Shel | Tags: 90's,boogers,Britney Spears,Erin,Fiona Apple,habit,hobby,Ja Rule,nose picking,Paintbrush,peeing the bed,poem,Shel Silverstein,snail,Teen Nick,Warning,Where The Sidewalk Ends | No Comments