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‘I Can Haz?’ Category

  1. Mattress for Snuggling

    August 12, 2011 by parry

    Ohmygod I LOVE TO SNUGGLE. And if you don’t …

    1. Somewhere a puppy just died and 2. I don’t want to know you anymore.

    Because if you can’t snuggle with your friends, then THEY AREN’T REALLY YOUR FRIENDS.  I mean, no one snuggles with strangers unless like, you’re either someone who counts flashmobs as a hobby, or, you may have a drinking problem. So I guess what I’m really saying is that if you like to snuggle then we can probably be friends and one day we can probably snuggle so therefore everyone that wants to continue knowing me should invest in a MATTRESS FOR SNUGGLING!

    Boyfriend and I are like, way big on snuggling for the first 15 minutes we get in bed. Like, anaconda-style snuggling.  But then one of us starts drooling, sweating or developing a dead arm, and we’re like “Okay you are great and special and I love you but I think I need to stretch out.”

    So imagine my delight when he sprinkled my InBox with this little nugget. Those people look SO SNUG.  Dead arm be gone! I mean, the chance of sweating may increase when you have a body part shoved in those gaping holes (that’s what she said?!), but let’s be honest: Dead arm is the real problem here. Oscillating fans fix sweating (usually) and if you drool, so what? It brings you closer. On the real though, my main problem is the apparent inability to apply sheets.  Because like, sweat + drool on whatever that surface is = slip n’ slide. Which is not at all what I want during summer in New York. Winter? Maybe.




  2. Pro/Con Journal

    July 4, 2011 by parry

    I have a hard time making decisions. Like, on a daily basis. I am a Libra, and by virtue, I have to weigh everything out. IT’S WHO THE STARS SAY I AM, OKAY? I’m not talking like, life-altering decisions though. I typically make those rather quickly, and they usually end in a “Learn Things The Hard Way” scenario. But when it comes to options for dining out, ordering in, outfits, bar destinations, Starbucks, showering, etc. etc., I am severely co-dependent upon the person I’m with. It’s kind of a problem.

    All of my friends know two things when we make dinner plans: 1.) Unless you immediately give me 3 options right off the bat, I’m going to need at least 35 minutes to figure out shit out, and 2.) If we are going out in public for dinner, I’m going to be late.

    (Okay, real talk: I am late everywhere I go. Not just dinner. If you need me to be somewhere at 6:30pm, you need to tell me 6:15pm. If my funeral starts on time, I WILL roll over in my grave.)

    So basically, I think I/WE (friends) would really benefit from a super-cute PRO/CON JOURNAL (via Modcloth):

    Designed specifically for the detail-oriented decider, this spiral-bound book provides space for every positive and negative notion on opposing pages. Once you count up each detail and arrive at a conclusion, outline your prescribed plan of action, and mark your mission complete!


    Perfect. This way, since I’m a visual learner and shit when it comes to organization, I can make decisions in like, 17.5 minutes. Which is SRSLY huge. AND, I can check it off as “completed,” which I REALLY love. If I didn’t make lists with the sole purpose of checking things off as they get completed, I’d never get anything done. EVER.