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‘Deep Thoughts’ Category

  1. Dream Big

    September 1, 2011 by parry

     

     

    Thinking of becoming a lobster these days. ADULT WORK IS HARD.

     

    xoxo

    parrypants


  2. Snooki Killed the Video Star

    August 28, 2011 by parry

    Not that I give a shit about Maroon 5 anymore, but I applaud Adam Levine’s recent tweet in regards to The VMAs.

    adamlevine: the VMA’s. one day a year when MTV pretends to still care about music. I’m drawing a line in the sand. fuck you VMA’s.

    The man is right. I can’t remember the last time I turned on MTV and saw more than 15 seconds of a music video, and even then, it’s been sliced to 50% of the screen, sharing equal billing with the rolling credits from 16 and Pregnant. Which is some bullshit. I may not remember “Video Killed the Radio Star,” but I DEFINITELY remember watching several videos that were major forces in causing my hormones to surface, ie: LL Cool J’s  ”Doin’ It Well,” The Smashing Pumpkins’ “1979,” and Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby.” Don’t hate on Mariah. She’s on fi-yah. Okay so maybe not since she married Nick Cannon (SERIOUSLY. WTF?), but youknowwhatimsayin.

    And I was a total fiend for Making The Video. I basically fainted when Melissa Joan Hart got to pal around with Britney for “Crazy.” I would even go so far as to keep a blank VHS tape in the TV at all times, JUST in case a cool video (or 7) came on that I wanted to fawn over, ad-nasuem. At one point in my life, said videotapings were solely reserved for Britney and *NSYNC choreography instructionals, but my obsession with them went FAR beyond that … And it’s not something I’m ready to come clean about just yet. These things take time.

    Anyways, here’s some of my favorite snarky tweets* (thus far) in regards to the farce that is the VMAs (p.s. Check your local listings for FUSE, because they are the real deal when it comes to marathon music video sessions. I got nuthin’ but love for ya, Fuse. Nothin’ but love) :

    *Please note I will take Curb Your Enthusiasm and/or Netflix reruns of Arrested Development over this nonsense ANY day, thus the selected tweets (from the brave, relevant, paid souls watching) have been chosen, not for context, but for pure, general hilarity. And yes, making that a point IS necessary. Jerks. Consider this an early #followfriday, of sorts.

    ditzkoff: Wasn’t there a Greek myth about a woman who could sing to the widest possible audience, but only behind Taco Bell promos? #jessiej #VMAs
    1000TimesYes : Punch a woman; ascend into heaven #VMA #lessons
    RichJuz: Big night for Hot Topic.
    PatrikSandberg: ”Never lose faith in rock n roll”, camera pan to LMFAO
    pourmecoffee: Weird to see music on MTV. #vmas
    RichJuz: I really hope Kreayshawn wins Best New Artist. Tomorrow’s mortification today!
    ditzkoff: Justin Bieber just learned the meaning of ‘gender identity.’ #ladygaga #VMAs twitpic.com/6cvhxt
    refinery29: We wouldn’t hook up with “Joe Calderone”
    jennylsq: MTV thinks Foster the People are ‘carrying the flag for rock.’ I say the rock flag flies at half mast on this night every year.
    Billboarddotcom : At vmas, bieber tells selena ‘my snake’s name is johnson.’ Oh my.
    1000TimesYes: my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson my snake’s name is johnson m
    1000TimesYes: Not that i’m anti-autotune, i’m just anti-boring
    RichJuz: Mars doing Winehouse is like watching water trying to be butter.

     

    xoxo

    parrypants


  3. Hurricane To-Do List

    August 26, 2011 by parry

    Seems pretty reasonable. I think we’ve got this.

     

     

    Stay safe out there!

     

    xoxo

    parrypants

     

    (photo stolen from Boyfriend)


  4. Arrested Westeros

    August 18, 2011 by parry

    UM.

    Arrested Development + Game of Thrones. Together. 2 become 1. God’s gift to the internet. File under: Things I Should Have Thought Of. Bada-da-da-dah! I’m lovin’ it. [golf claps] Weeeeeeeee!

    Okay I’m done. Just click the link.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    xoxo

    parrypants


  5. Seriously

    August 15, 2011 by parry

     

     

    That is all.

     

     

    xoxo

    parrypants


  6. Global Turbulence

    August 9, 2011 by parry

    So. Shit is kinda hitting the fan, huh? As always, I continue to arrive fashionably late to big events — world news included, apparently. And, last night, as I wrote this soliloquy on my flight back from NC (wherein I essentially fell off the face of the earth for 10 days and missed 2 consecutive episodes of True Blood) I felt the urge to voice my concern on two particular points surrounding the Norway shootings, the recently reduced US credit rating and unruly riots in London:

    1. Why the FUCK don’t in-flight beverages come with lids?!????? ESPECIALLY when the captain has left on the Fasten Seat Belt Sign, which means that shit is PROBABLY going to get a little bumpy. Because I mean, I made point of doing all my fucking laundry at my grandparents’ house before I left, in order to avoid spending $20 at the wash-and-fold upon my return, and now there are shitty fucking coffee stains on my formerly Bounty-fresh hoody. Thanks for nothing, Delta.

    2. Even though I appreciate the real-time news flow that social media provides, I am kind of fed-the-fuck-up with everyone and their mother giving their uneducated, unopinionated opinions. ESPECIALLY when they include the use of emoticons.

    “Jane Thisismymarriednamewhichmakesmecool says:                                                                     Riots in London! Sounds so scary!!! ): ): ): ”

    Congratulations, Jane. It seems as if you’ve been reading your Facebook and/or Twitter feed recently and want everyone to know that you are like, totally tuned into the news and that you are like, totally bummed about something other than The Bachelorette’s latest elimination.

    But did your status update give any insight into said news? Are you helping spread the word about an important issue surfaced by this event? Are you linking people to a page where they can donate to a relief fund? Are you at LEAST making a poorly timed joke about this shit that I can laugh about at my desk and then repeat to someone else in a week when it’s no longer “too soon?!?”

    No. All you’re doing is grinding my gears and reminding me how Sarah Palin was able to come dangerously close to becoming the Vice President of the United States — because you and people like you can’t seem to think for themselves and never bother to form a truly educated opinion on anything important. Not that free speech isn’t equally important, but I guess my stance on that in this particular instance is Shut the Fuck Up.

    Now then. I’d like another one of those lidless coffees, please.

     

     

     

     

     

    xoxo

    parrypants