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July 1, 2011 by parry

Can we talk about what a total babe THE KHALEESI is? Like, if Angelina Jolie, a dragon and Regina George could somehow spawn a being, she would be it. And who wouldn’t want to be on THAT team? Game of Thrones is my jam, and I am REALLY hoping for some bareback beast-flying shit next season, a la Neverending Story. If I had a dragon, I’d either call it something fantastically magical like, Lunatwat Falazure, or something condescendingly average like, Kurt.


Okay. So here’s The Top 5 Reasons THE KHALEESI is The Tits:


1. She’s got a posse of other babely bitches.

Much like The Plastics, these hoebags are deviant. All for the sake of the Sistahs Dothraki. That one chick pretty much home-schooled her on using Cowgirl as leverage. NOW LOOK AT HER! She’s the mothafuckin’ QUEEN and she can be all like “Bow down when you come to my town! Bown down when we westward bound!” And clearly in the photo below, on Wednesdays we wear burlap. Fetch!


2. I’m like, WAY jealous of her wardrobe.

Girl has got it goin’ ON! I don’t know who her stylist is, but the burlap crop-top and chiffon-y maxi-dresses are SO MAYJAH. I am DY-ING for the lavender one. It’s bananas. Especially with her skin tone. Which is porcelain. Which I can really respect. YOU BETTAH WERK!


3. She’s got a great rack:

And a super pretty face. And all my friends have super pretty faces too, so she would totally fit in.


4. Her hair is REALLY pretty.

Like, she might be kin to Derek Trucks. Which would also be awesome.



And obvi we’ve learned that she’s like, officially part-dragon. I don’t know what that means exactly, other than she can sleep inside a firey pit of sticks and burning people, but I guess that’s useful in some places. More importantly though, SHE NOW HAS TINY DRAGONS. Like, for pets. Or minions. Or Falcormobiles. All of these things are sweet.













  1. Stickyheels says:

    I am so on board with these sentiments. ALSO: bitch apparently has fireproof hair. I mean. Really. Fireproof hair, a great rack, AND tiny baby dragons? Team Khaleesi!

  2. vasare says:

    great article! haha :D

  3. The Best Cuz EVER says:

    OMG! We like totally have a show in common that we like!!! THRONES is freaking AWESOME!!!!

  4. Joy Walters says:

    I was laughing so hard I was crying while reading this. I am already designing my Khaleesi Halloween costume and secretly sewing a Khal Drogo getup for my BF with an attached horse. He’ll probably end up looking like a centaur. And me, a dragon queen!!!

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