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Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

June 29, 2011 by parry

This is seriously like, the worst thing that has happened to me since I found out Daniel Vosovic from Project Runway (Season 2), was gay. I had a MONSTER crush on him. BTW – Daniel, if you need a “fiercely real” model for your next collection, holler atcha girl. I’ve got tits and ass out the … ass (?) and what I lack in height, I make up for by smize-ing. ARG. FUCK YOU TYRA BANKS FOR ENGRAINING THESE RIDICULOUS MADE-UP WORDS INTO MY MIND! But not really because I LIVE for ANTM marathons, and I kind of think Tyra is like a schtizo Oprah. Please don’t hurt me!

So yeah. I hope you guys are sitting down for this one. Because apparently, “SCIENCE” claims that my beloved Diet Coke MAKES YOU FAT. I know, I know. Why couldn’t it have been Diet Pepsi? Or Coke Zero? Okay actually it’s like, all things Diet Sugar Water. Which puts me in a really tough sitch: I mean, I NEED Diet Coke/Diet Dr. Pepper in my life. I really do. It must be coursing through my veins at this point, because I was pretty much raised on that shit (THANKS FOR MAKING ME AN ADDICT, MOM).

But also: I FER SURE do not want to be fat. Not that I have a problem with fat┬ápeople or anything, but I really can’t afford to size up my wardrobe right now.

 

WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO?!

 

xoxo

parrypants


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